Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just forgot I was standing up.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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