Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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