its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
