be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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