Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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