Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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