She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
