Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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