my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
