Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
