Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
