Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Randomize