I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
