if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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