Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
