garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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