I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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