So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
