What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
