your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
