Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
