i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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