How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
