She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
