Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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