Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
