There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
