I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
