i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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