Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
