I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
