Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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