Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
