Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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