i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
