I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
