You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
