turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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