Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
