can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
