So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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