So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
