Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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