We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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