we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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