Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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