i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
someone owes me an orgasm
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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