It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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