She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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