Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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