Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Your penis caused this!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
