She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
